The topic of relations between children and parents does not lose its relevance in the modern world. In my opinion, it is the attitude of parents to a child at an early age that is the basis of communication in the future. In families where love and understanding reign, happy children and happy adults grow up. And in families in which there is a lack of communication and a reluctance to hear each other, there is alienation, and then mutual resentment, which lasts a lifetime.
In adolescence, almost every child tries to declare their own “I”. Think about how often we shout: “my parents don’t understand me and don’t hear me,” but how often do we try to understand or hear them? People who gave us life, who, by virtue of their age and life experience, have the right to express their opinion.
I was lucky in my family, initially, relations are built on mutual respect and understanding of each other. To understand this does not mean to agree on everything, but to try to understand the point of view of the opposite side. For example, my parents work as lawyers and expected me to follow in their footsteps. I refused, and made a choice in favor of another profession, arguing my desire. They accepted my choice, and there is no more debate on this topic in our family. But there are families in which parents suppress their children with their authority and impose an opinion on how to live properly, where to work and with whom to be friends. The development of relations in such families usually develops in two ways: either the child escapes from parental “oppression”, ceases all communication with once-dear people, or has matured, becomes completely unsuitable for independent living and solving problems.
Not a single family can live without conflicts, and this is normal. But you need not leave them, but strive to decide, listening to both sides.
I agree with the opinion that children copy the behavior of adults and in order to raise a truly worthy member of society, parents need to correspond to the words that are suggested to the child. Speaking to your child: “do not smoke,” while smoking two packs a day, or “do not swear,” while using the mat in everyday colloquial speech, in this case you should not wait for obedience and respect.
One of the most striking examples of the relationship between children and parents is the work of L.N. Tolstoy “War and Peace.” The work features several families with completely opposite family foundations and traditions. The Rostov family reigns in peace and harmony, kindness and decency. And the parents and children of the Rostovs can be called people of honor, not capable of meanness and betrayal. Dragons are the exact opposite. Father Prince Vasily is a greedy, immoral person, committing vile deeds for the sake of money, and completely not feeling any remorse. His children were brought up in this way: Anatole, urging Natasha Rostov to escape, for the sake of a minute whim, completely not thinking about her future and possible shame, and Ellen, an avid young woman who married Pierre Bezukhov for wealth and luxury.
Parental love and support accompany children throughout their lives, and those qualities and principles that have been invested in us since childhood will return to our relatives and loved ones doubly.